Would you like to learn a simple but life changing technique that is guaranteed to bring you and your partner closer together (and every other person you communicate with, whether child or adult, home or at work)?
When it comes to healthy communication one of the most important aspects is the ability to truly listen to the other ... here's how to change every relationship you have, right now ....
Although this sounds simple enough ...
If we can look closely at our conversations we would quickly discover how difficult it is to truly be present and listen. Sadly this lack of sincere attention to the other is felt and leads to a distancing in conversation and can cause damage to the quality of the relationship over time.
The greatest gift you can give your partner and all your relationships is to master the Art of Listening
Learning how to truly listen is actually a little different than one may first think ...
What we are talking about is very spiritual in nature. We are so use to comprehending intellectually what the other is saying that we are not so in touch with how we are deeply feeling while we connect with another. Therefore it is necessary to listen. That's why we call it as Art of Listening.
Initially, when listening to another, we listen to what is happening within our self.
Are we resisting listening?
Resisting listening to the other means paying attention to our own 'inner dialogue' ... there are many different 'stories' about why we don't want to listen fully: We could be resisting listening because ...
- We feel we don't have the time
- We want to get it 'fixed' fast so we can do what we really want to do, asap
- We're too busy to sit still and listen
- We may not like the person so we don't want to listen to them ...
These are some of the many ways we can 'resist fully listening'.
9 tips to listening fully
1: Always face the person and keep gentle awareness on their face (or they may feel devalued, tolerated or that you don't really want to listen)
2: Pay attention to your own inner dialogue without judgement and with awareness
3: Don't interrupt the other, don't affirm, pass comments, agree or disagree - this is their experience
4: Keep your body and facial language supportive and neutral while listening fully.
5: Neutral feedback (if any) may be "Aha", "Ok, I see"
6: When they seem to be finished, leave a space and see what happens
7: Don't try and fix the problem, just continue to listen as fully as possible
8: It is common for many people to find the solution for themselves when they feel they're truly being heard, either at the time or later on
9: When everything's quiet and if it seems appropriate at the time, you can ask "How do you feel?" Again, listen.
Once you start listening you will naturally grow closer to the other and the other will naturally open up to you on a deeper level
This is an enormously powerful technique that brings about a deeper connection between you and the other. This can be done with anyone and soon becomes a natural way to communicate with everyone.
Sincere thanks to the O&O Academy for their initial article